Coaching Chemistry
Coaching is a partnership that thrives on trust, confidence, and progress. Before beginning an executive coaching relationship, leaders often wonder if the potential coach is the right person for them. Is the “chemistry” right between the two?
I don’t like the word chemistry to describe the relationship, but a leader will not get much benefit from someone they dislike. Nor will they get much benefit from someone they really like, but fails to push them to higher levels. Personal likes and dislikes should not be the primary factor in the decision. However, the engagement will not work if the leader doesn’t like the coach.
Many leaders try to pick coaches like themselves, but this can lead to a less than desirable outcome. Do you want a coach who is going to tell you what you want to hear, or a coach that will provide you honest and candid feedback?
Jack Welch, former GE CEO once said:
“Executive Coaching generally works. The value of course depends on the quality of the coach. This is a field where there is no specific training and certainly no formal accreditation. And there are some charlatans out there who simply tell you what you want to hear or don’t have much feel for leadership, having never done it themselves.” He further adds “Good executive coaches can provide a truly important service. They can look you in the eye and tell you what no one else will, especially if you’re the boss.”
In some situations, it may also be advantageous for a client to pick a coach with some of the opposite tendencies. For example, if the leader is trying to become more assertive, then they should pick someone who is more assertive than themselves. This risk is that they might pick someone who demonstrates the appropriate level of assertiveness that they desire, which may not solve the problem.
Initial Meeting
The initial meeting is the best way for both the coach and client to determine if the partnership will work. This preliminary meeting is an an opportunity for both the coach and client to make a set of personal assessments. For the client, he/she must try to put aside the personal likes and dislikes and focus on the competencies needed to succeed. (see blog article Selecting the Right Coach). For the coach, it is an opportunity to determine if the client is a good candidate to succeed.
At the initial meeting, I begin with a list of open-ended questions about the leader’s perception of their strengths and weaknesses. Often I send these to the candidate before the meeting to help them think through their answers. Then I get them to rank their development needs by order of priority. I also ask them to assess which challenges will be more difficult to change and the reasons why. I also discuss the executive coaching process that we will utilize, and determine their level of commitment to change and their work ahead. Throughout the discussion, I am gaging the person’s motivation level, whether they understand their weaknesses, and how perceptive they are about themselves. Often at the initial meeting I try to share some initial impression, then assess their thoughtfulness and versatility. I look for ideally someone who is open, curious, reflective and most importantly motivated.
If coaches don’t engage in that kind of discussion, they may not get a full picture of the of the leader.
Typically meetings are about an hour, and ideally face-to-face. Depending on location and time constraints sometimes we charge for this meeting.
With this kind of in-depth discussion between the coach and the leader, the candidate sees the coach in action. The answer to “chemistry” question then becomes obvious to both coach and leader.
To learn more about an initial coaching consultation, please call us at 513-772-5115 or contact us for a preliminary discussion.
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